Is there ever an appropriate occasion to correct someone’s makeup when out in a public place if you are not on first name terms with them? I commute to work every day and am distraught by the number of women with muddy faces and tide marks, can anything be done whilst avoiding being clouted in the face by a Mulberry Bayswater?

FB, Berkshire

Firstly as you are likely to be correctly identifying said tote bag which may be used as a weapon in this situation I will make the assumption that you are either female or not the average male. This may stand you in good stead as woman being corrected on her maquillage by a man in a high vis jacket or pinstripe suit may not take so kindly to this. You can approach the situation delicately by perhaps discreetly rubbing your chin or face in the direction of the woman whose makeup you are trying to address in the hopes that she may recognise this as the universal indication of ‘you have something on your face that needs correcting’. However if this doesn’t work and she merely sees you as the stranger with a nervous twitch take yourself down to your nearest makeup counter and arm yourself with mini tester foundations in a variety of shades and a packet of wet wipes. When next encountering this situation on your commute you can hand over selected correct foundation and a hand full of wet wipes being sure to exit the train swiftly to avoid the attack that may likely follow. Thus your point has been made.